Effective Counselling Techniques for Students

Real Talk From a Counselor’s Couch (No, Not Freud’s)

Let’s be real: if I had a dollar for every time a student walked into my office saying, “I’m fine” while looking like they just survived emotional warfare, I’d finally retire to that dream cottage with Wi-Fi and absolutely no group chats.

But here I am—still caffeinating, still showing up for students, and still figuring out what actually works in student counseling, beyond Pinterest-worthy “deep breathing” posters and motivational cat quotes taped to my door.

I didn’t become a student counselor because I love giving advice. I became one because I was that anxious, confused, overwhelmed teenager who just wanted one adult to say, “Yeah, life’s weird, and you’re not crazy.”

Fast forward a couple decades, and now I’m the adult with the comfy chair, a bowl of slightly stale peppermints, and the sacred power of permission to feel things.

1. The Magic of Just Shutting Up and Listening

I used to think I needed to fix every student who walked through my door.
Real talk: Most students don’t want a solution. They want a witness.

You don’t have to be a hero—you just need to be present. The silence between “I’m fine” and the real story? That’s where the healing starts.

2. Tailor Your Tools

One student thrives with mindfulness. Another panics at the idea of closing their eyes because it reminds them of a surprise math test. Some need cognitive restructuring. Others need to sprint until their brain stops yelling.

Counseling isn’t IKEA—it’s improv.
Be flexible. Be curious. Be willing to swap breathing exercises for a Taylor Swift lyric breakdown if that’s what gets them talking.

3. Speak Fluent Teen (No TikTok Required)

I once said “triggered” in a session and a 15-year-old nearly threw her phone at me. “Miss, you’re not allowed to say that.”

You don’t need to say “no cap” or talk like a meme—but drop the therapist-speak. Meet them where they are—emotionally and linguistically.

4. Ditch the “One Size Fits All” Toolbox

Gratitude lists? Great—unless a student’s in crisis and the only thing they’re thankful for is that school ends at 3:30.

What works:

• Art therapy for those who can’t verbalize emotions. (One student drew a tornado holding a coffee cup—masterpiece.)
• Solution-focused questions: “If tomorrow magically got better, what would be the first thing you’d notice?”
• Humor. Yes, really. One student processed grief through memes. He said, “Laughing made the sadness less heavy.” Boom. Progress.

5. Humor Is a Tool, Not a Distraction

Don’t turn your session into open mic night, but don’t be afraid to be real. Humor builds connection, breaks tension, and shows students you’re a human—not just a walking coping-skills brochure.

Example?
A girl came in freaking out about prom drama. I told her:
“High school relationships are like microwaved leftovers. They feel hot at first but usually end up soggy and disappointing.”

She laughed. We connected. Then we talked for real.

6. End With Hope (Even If It’s Tiny)

Every session, I try to give them one small thing:

• Drink water.
• Take a walk.
• Apologize.
• Breathe deeply for 30 seconds.

Progress isn’t linear—it’s more like a toddler with a crayon on a wall. But if they leave feeling even 1% more hopeful, that’s a win.

Sometimes, a juice box > a five-step recovery plan.
Or maybe it’s a post-it that says, “You’re doing better than you think.” Or just a gentle, “Text me if you want to practice that convo with your mom.”

Final Thoughts From the Couch

Counseling students is like trying to hug a hedgehog. It’s delicate. Occasionally painful. But deeply, beautifully worth it.

So if you’re in this work—whether as a counselor, teacher, parent, or just someone trying to talk to teenagers without combusting—remember this:

Connection matters more than perfection.
Listening is more powerful than lecturing.
And sometimes, laughter really is the best therapy.